“Finding Delphi” is my personal favourite, and the one that I’ve worked on the most.

Return of the Olympians (Book II): Finding Delphi

“And, so,” Zeus continued, “I conclude the plan for the re-integration of my son, Apollo.”  The Olympians all clapped as Apollo bowed low.  Zeus had swapped his dusty white office at the end of the universe for a much nicer one closer to home.  In fact, they were all back home, on top of Mount Olympus.  He had also swapped his white robes for a more modern look.  Hera smiled lovingly at her distinguished husband in his brand new Armani suit.  The Olympians were all very pleased with their progress so far.  “Does anyone have any questions?” he finished.

“Oh, I do…” said his other son, Dionysus.  Hera scowled.  She found his very presence distasteful, but there was nothing she could do about it.  “I seem to have quite a part to play in all this…  I’m just wondering why this isn’t about my re-integration.”

“Because you’re not so important,” Hera immediately threw the words at him.

Zeus touched her arm lightly. “Now, my dear, you know that’s not true”.  She turned away and looked out the window behind her, finding solace in the snow-capped scenery.  Zeus walked over to Dionysus, “Your time will come, my son.  In truth, nothing that we stand for ever went out of fashion, only our names.  Many still refer to you, but they do so in ignorance.”

“But, Father, I always have to stand by whilst people abuse or ignore me.  I always help, but get nothing back in return.  No honour.  No libations.  No respect.  No recognition whatsoever.  I’ve a good mind to go on strike!  Take my power away completely.”

Zeus simply smiled, “What would that achieve?  No, my son, you may try that later as a last resort but in the meantime you are very much needed in the greater scheme of things.  I’m sure people will begin to respect you once again.”

Demeter raised her head, “He’s quite right, Zeus.  I’d be behind him.  We’re getting very impatient.  I’ve had it with the earthlings.  Do you know – do you know what they’re doing with my earth?  Over-use is abuse!  And the pesticides!  The pesticides! It’s a disgrace.  If you don’t do something I’ll…I’ll go on strike again!  And, I’ll be having word with Gaea.  She’s had enough of being dissed too.”

The King of Gods frowned.  “Dissed?  This is not a word I understand.  I have no translation for it.”

Demeter sighed.  “Dissed. Disrespected!  It’s a modern word.  I…found it on the Urban Dictionary on-line.”

“Oh in the name of Me!  It’s bad enough we have to learn English in the first place.  That language changes its rules to suit itself.  I don’t like something that doesn’t always have rules.  Do we have a God of English?” he looked around at the sea of blank faces.   “Well, someone must be appointed immediately.  Immediately!  It is my will.  I demand it!”  He sat back down on his throne with a hmph.

Strikes were not what Zeus wanted to hear.  Now he was in a bad mood.  On his own, Dionysus had less chance of pulling off a strike, but with Demeter behind him it was very possible he could do it.  The world would fall into chaos.  Already they had pulled out of certain parts of the world.  If they both worked together it would be a very sorry state of affairs for human beings.  No grape.  No grain.  “Be patient.  I promise the tide will turn.”

At the mention of the tide Poseidon looked up.  He was looking good, a bit like Sean Connery, in his wet suit.  “There’ll be no such thing!  It’s not due to turn for several hours”

“I didn’t mean it literally.  Would everyone stop being so sensitive?!”  Zeus roared.  He was getting quite fed up with the lack of cooperation amongst the ranks.  The gods were silent.  “Good.  Now, what we are aiming for here is to bring about the acknowledgement of each of us.  One at a time.  Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

“Neither was Athens!” said Athena with a scowl.

“Quite right.  What’s Rome got to do with any of this?” Hades finally said, flicking open his zippo and lighting a cigarette.  He stood in another corner of the room in a black suit, black tie and dark shades.

“Enough!” cried Zeus.  Everyone was silent again.  “It’s just a saying!  My point was that we will all have our chance, but it’s better if we each arrive one at a time.  Please try to be patient”, he finished quietly.  Everyone except Apollo bowed their heads.  “OK, right.  So, here is the plan…”  He rolled out the blueprint on his mahogany desk.  The Olympians all gathered around.  “We need a plan.  Unlike last time…” he said looking at Aphrodite and Eros who both turned innocently away.  “Poseidon, you’ll be very important for initiating everything.  Hermes, I’d like you to make a couple of phone calls…  Aphrodite….  Eros…  Pay very close attention…”